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The Christian Dating Scene For Black Women Is A Jungle.
Maybe this is part one. Maybe there will be a series. Dating as a Black, Christian abstinent woman is a form of sanctification. Yes, you read that correctly, sanctification. I would have written “persecution” but I’m aware that my hyperbole may be too excessive, so sanctification will do just fine. Sanctification noun [ U ]…
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Christian (unmarried) Women Have High Sex Drives Too..
This one’s for unmarried women because married women have husbands to play with 😛 The lens in which we view sexuality in the church is very male. Our religious attitudes seem to be dominated by this very laddish culture which acknowledges men as hyper-sexual beings whilst giving little credence to women and their needs. Transparent…
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Do Christians Over-Complicate Dating?
Nothing in life seems more confusing than listening to a sample of Christians discuss their dating experiences and I’ve spent a good few years listening to some of the trauma. Ok trauma might be an exaggeration, but the Christian dating scene does seem quite bleak. Type the title into any search bar and you’ll be…
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This one’s for the people waiting for marriage to have sex….
I really couldn’t think of a better title so here goes…. oh you’re a virgin.” “No way, are you a virgin. How old are you?” “mid twenties” “No way are you in your mid twenties and still a virgin.” “ Yes,way” “and you’ve never given oral?” “no.. no oral..” “nahhh I don’t believe you. You have a sexual aura, I don’t believe…
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Christians, Stop Dating To Marry…
This will probably not be the first, nor will it be the last time that I write on this (because sadly we malign the topic daily) but there is a weird Christian dating culture. The Christian dating culture introduced us to concepts like “date only in group settings”; “Holy Spirit hugs (you know, don’t hug…
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Holy and Horny
Yes, I did just put holy and horny in the same sentence. Yes we are going to discuss these adjectives in tandem because they are not mutually exclusive and yes the article might make you feel a little uncomfortable but through discomfort we learn and/ unlearn. I’m not sure how many people will appreciate the…
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Message to Christian Girls, Stop Having A Type…
We all have our physical types. However, for the Christian woman actively dating (or at least scoping the market), having a type cripples her success with men. To explain to a readership who knows very little about me, I like chocolate men. I like my men the colour of a Twix bar minus the caramel.…
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5 Men You Shouldn’t Date…
Dating is similar to algebra. Yes I just compared the human process of mating to mathematics but bear with me whilst I attempt to explain. In algebra, the objective is to find “x” and within dating both parties are also trying to find “x”. It’s a process of trial and error, whereby all the wrong…
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2016, Year of Bae…
The word crept up on us. Whether we wanted to or not, we found ourselves using it. I don’t even like the word. It’s a silly term most likely coined by someone who probably wasn’t even in a relationship (or an American) but it has since become the go to word of endearment, displacing the…
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All Your Friends Are Getting Married and Having Babies And You’re Like…
“Every 15 seconds, a woman is proposed to. Please dial 322 – help me find a beau, if you’re not that woman. “ If you’re over the age of 21, I’m sure you’re experiencing this. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media sites that I have forgotten to mention are daily reminders that all your…
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For Christians Who Date…
This is a product of numerous conversations with people from vast theological backgrounds and my personal research. This is not your final authority because that is the function of the word of God. This should hopefully evoke some feeling. Finally, this may not sit well with you but here goes.. 1.There is no one. The…
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Christian Thirst.
“but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14 (Jesus) I had never heard of the word thirst until I became well acquainted with social networking sites. I had always been at…
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If You Really Love Somebody You Can Wait?NO! You Better Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace.
Despite the frankness in the title (no you better speak now or forever hold your peace) this post is coming from a loving place, as all my articles generally do. Nothing would give me more joy than to hear that you have all found love (preferably not in a hopeless place) and are happy and…
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Submission Is Not A Curse Word: Submission 101
There’s always something missing from the contemporary submission debate and that is the part where the husband loves the woman the way Christ loves the Church. A blog post on submission has played on my mind for some time now, however my fear was that the content would read like a rant as opposed to an article and…
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Strong, Black Womanhood.
We subscribe to things we do not quite understand and endorse them without fully realising how detrimental those things can be. The concept of “self fulfilling prophecy” is powerful and accurate especially with regards to stereotypes because we tend to become the labels placed on us. We begin to imitate the stereotype, often times wearing…
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I Am Not My Hair: The Politics Behind A Black Female’s Hair
“You are not a freedom fighter because you have natural hair neither is your relaxed hair a product of white supremacy. Stop the madness.” Cristine Edusi This one’s for the coloured girls who critique each other on their choice of hair style because apparently the style of hair determines your level of authenticity despite the…
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“I Ain’t Saying She A Gold Digger…”
If you are a regular visitor to The Promiscious Pen you will know that I draw inspiration from an array of things most especially songs by my favourite artists , such as Kanye West (whom I used to be in love with, no really I was head over heels until Kanye became Kimye) and Drake (my…
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Why We Hate Love…
I wish to preface this article. This one’s for the grown – ups, for the over 18’s amongst us. No children allowed. We hate love. You’re probably wondering why I have made such a bold statement and yes I am aware of how sombre that statement sounded( blame it on my emo past, yes…
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Because Not All Men Cheat…
I have a problem with the assertion that all men cheat and my reasons will become apparent shortly. I do feel like I’ve been writing a lot for the boys lately (see “What Solange taught me about Domestic Violence”) but I just can’t shake off the need to speak on the labels that have been…
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#BringBackOurGirls : The Story of Our Missing Daughters
I am writing for our daughters. Every time the hashtag #BringBackOurGirls appears on my mobile screen tears well up in my eyes but they don’t fall. Internally I weep for our 234 daughters abducted from their school in Chibok, I weep for their mothers and finally I weep for Nigeria. I weep because history will…