Category: Love and Other Drugs

  • The Christian Dating Scene For Black Women Is A Jungle.

    The Christian Dating Scene For Black Women Is A Jungle.

    Maybe this is part one. Maybe there will be a series. Dating as a Black, Christian abstinent woman is a form of sanctification. Yes, you  read  that correctly, sanctification. I would have written “persecution”  but  I’m aware that my hyperbole may be too excessive, so sanctification will do just fine.  Sanctification noun [ U ]…

  • Christian Women Should Date Multiple People..

    Christian Women Should Date Multiple People..

    A reminder to you (even to myself, as I tend to write for myself ) to date/ get to know people more widely and not eliminate anyone until mutuality (the kind that precedes a relationship) has been expressed.   Before I proceed, it’s  important to preface the article with this; Let no one be an authority for you…

  • Christian (unmarried) Women Have High Sex Drives Too..

    Christian (unmarried) Women Have High Sex Drives Too..

    This one’s for unmarried women because married women have husbands to play with 😛 The lens in which we view sexuality in the church is very male. Our religious attitudes seem to be dominated by this very laddish culture which acknowledges men as hyper-sexual beings whilst giving little credence to women and their needs.  Transparent…

  • Do Christians Over-Complicate Dating?

    Do Christians Over-Complicate Dating?

    Nothing in life seems more confusing than listening to a sample of Christians discuss their dating experiences and I’ve spent a good few years listening to some of the trauma. Ok trauma might be an exaggeration, but the Christian dating scene does seem quite bleak. Type the title into any search bar and you’ll be…

  • This one’s for the people waiting for marriage to have sex….

    This one’s for the people waiting for marriage to have sex….

    I really couldn’t think of a better title so here goes…. oh you’re a virgin.” “No way, are you a virgin. How old are you?” “mid twenties” “No way are you in your mid twenties and still a virgin.” “ Yes,way” “and you’ve never given oral?” “no.. no oral..” “nahhh I don’t believe you. You have a sexual aura, I don’t believe…

  • Christians, Stop Dating To Marry…

    Christians, Stop Dating To Marry…

    This will probably not be the first, nor will it be the last time that I write on this (because sadly we malign the topic daily) but there is a weird Christian dating culture. The Christian dating culture introduced us to concepts like “date only in group settings”; “Holy Spirit hugs (you know, don’t hug…

  • Holy and Horny

    Holy and Horny

    Yes, I did just put holy and horny in the same sentence. Yes we are going to discuss these adjectives in tandem because they are not mutually exclusive and yes the article might make you feel a little uncomfortable but through discomfort we learn and/ unlearn. I’m not sure how many people will appreciate the…

  • How To Date As A Christian…

    How To Date As A Christian…

    You clicked on this page (hopefully) because you’re a Christian and probably because you’re dating or looking to date. If you’re a newbie to the dating scene (welcome) you may have   hoped to get more intel on the topic before diving in and if you’re a well seasoned veteran, maybe you were curious as to…

  • Black Men Don’t Do Celibacy But Black Women Do – Could All the Celibate Black Men Please Stand Up?

    Black Men Don’t Do Celibacy But Black Women Do – Could All the Celibate Black Men Please Stand Up?

    Some years ago, Eminem was spotted in a hospital waiting room looking for the real slim shady. Fast forward a few years and I’m looking for the celibate black man. I’m celibate (as you may  already be aware) and celibacy for the most part has been relatively easy sans the fact that I regularly meet…

  • You’re Single Because You’re Picky.

    You’re Single Because You’re Picky.

    “I refuse to settle” – No,  you’re  simply refusing to give up on your fantasy.  Being picky has absolutely nothing to do with having standards. Some single people (myself included) simply do not know how to see beyond themselves neither do they know how to see beyond perfection. Last night I tweeted something spectacular, “When…

  • Should Christians Date Multiple People?

    Should Christians Date Multiple People?

    Christians are called to be set apart but how do we marry that call with dating , when we finally recognise that people will still be people? This article isn’t for Christians who don’t believe in dating. Neither is this article for Christians who believe that there is one person  out there for them. This…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Shooting Your Shot

    The Ultimate Guide to Shooting Your Shot

    It has become something of a phenomenon on social media.  I can’t speak for Facebook  and Instagram as I’m hardly on either of those platforms but shooting your shot is an endemic on Twitter. Going into the logistics of it all feels quite pointless given the popularity of the trend (or perhaps I’m over embellishing…

  • Sexual Purity As a Christian Is Not Easy

    Sexual Purity As a Christian Is Not Easy

    “Everyone is dealing with  lust at some  degree or another.” If you were looking for an excuse to fornicate, this article isn’t for you. Similarly, if you came here looking for an excuse to commit adultery, again this article isn’t for you. Instead, this article expounds on a topic that’s rarely discussed and that is…

  • How Millennials Changed The Dating Game

    How Millennials Changed The Dating Game

    Someone asked me once to expound on the “talking” phase. I was extremely flattered that they considered me wise enough to divulge on such a contentious topic but I was also confused as to how to start explaining a phenomenon I myself wasn’t too familiar with or particularly liked. Before delving into any more detail,…

  • Message to Christian Girls, Stop Having A Type…

    Message to Christian Girls, Stop Having A Type…

    We all have our physical types.  However, for the Christian woman actively dating (or at least scoping the market), having a type cripples her success with men. To explain to a readership who knows very little about me, I like chocolate men. I like my men the colour of a Twix bar minus the caramel.…

  • 8 Women You Shouldn’t Date (According to Men)

    8 Women You Shouldn’t Date (According to Men)

    Disclaimer: I didn’t want to write this but they made me do it. I guess I had to considering some men felt a little hurt by 5 Men You Shouldn’t Date  and seeing as I’m all for equality it made sense to at least publish a follow up post. Before I delve into the list…

  • 5 Men You Shouldn’t Date…

    5 Men You Shouldn’t Date…

    Dating is similar to algebra.  Yes I just compared the human process of mating to mathematics but bear with me whilst I attempt to explain. In algebra, the objective is to find “x” and within dating both parties are also trying to find “x”.  It’s a process of trial and error, whereby all the wrong…

  • 7 things I’ve learnt about Abstinence Whilst Being Abstinent

    7 things I’ve learnt about Abstinence Whilst Being Abstinent

    Yes, I’m abstinent and yes it is possible. Sexual abstinence used to be one of those things that people didn’t like to talk about. Having people think you were having sex as opposed to not enjoying coitus at all was better for the ego. Fast forward a few decades and although sex might still be…

  • 5 Ways To Cope With Valentine’s Day Whilst Single..

    5 Ways To Cope With Valentine’s Day Whilst Single..

    Valentine’s day has become something of a duel between singles and couples. Couples generally take the opportunity to show their loved “one” how much they mean to them by way of a gift.  The gift can range from chocolates, to flowers, to a date or a holiday, depending on how much emphasis you both place…

  • Can I Rent A Valentine?

    Can I Rent A Valentine?

    “Would you rent when you could own?” – Anon. Do you remember when you were young ( I mean really young, think 10 years ago) and you wanted to ask a question in class? You would always weigh up the pros and cons of asking this question because the last thing you wanted was to…