The Proverbs 31 woman might be the most referenced woman in the entire Bible . The woman without a name has become the prototype for womanhood in Christ. She is honoured for her noble character, her worth more than rubies, her goodness, her eager hands, her culinary skills and her generosity. She is diligent with work, she demonstrates commercial awareness (popular buzzword), she gives, she nurtures, she is strong and dignified. She is wise, she is fearless, she is loved and she is praised. Mrs Proverbs 31 charmed us with her character and we all wanted to be her. We wanted to act like her, love like her, give like her and nurture like her. She doesn’t say anything in the chapter but we imagine that if she were to open her mouth , grace would spew out. Since being introduced to her we have curtailed our conceited habits ( at least we try) and now wave our proverbs 31 banners in the air like just don’t care. Of course we’re not parading the streets with pink banners reading “he who finds a proverbs 31, finds a good thing” but we may as well be considering the amount of times we post selfies with “proverbs 31 beauty” as a caption or plaster “proverbs 31” in our bios or brag about how much we love to cook and stay at home all night and day reading our Bibles.
So imagine my surprise when women full of Proverbs 31 intensity, fall for bozos. Women with all their wits about them, giving over their pearls to pigs.
1. A stupid or insignificant man.
“they’re really a bunch of bozos”
2. A rude, obnoxious, or annoying person:
Two or three bozos tried to cut in ahead of the rest of us in the supermarket line.
3. An incompetent person, especially in new companies. Bozos have a net negative effect on morale and profits, and everyone knows it.
I love the pictures that each definition paints but the third definition resonates far more. We can ignore the business context for a while and focus on the latter half of the paragraph that reads, “a bozo has a negative effect on morale and profits because this is the most significant part.
For the sake of clarity , I’ll deal with the definition in two parts.
The first part reads, “A bozo has a negative impact on morale..”
emotional or mental condition with respect to cheerfulness, confidence, zeal, etc., especially in the face of opposition, hardship, etc.:
Note that the proverbs 31 woman’s husband is her biggest cheerleader. Verse 11 says, “her husband has full confidence in her”. In verse 29, we learn how much he praises her saying, “many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
He doesn’t put her up, to tear her down, neither does he subject her to mental and emotional abuse and then label it love. I can only imagine how exhausting being all things to everyone must feel but guess who is right by the woman’s side whispering sweet nothings in her ear to make her feel valued and honoured? The husband. So you can understand my confusion, when proverbs 31 princesses are subjecting themselves to the control of men who don’t go out of their way to make them smile let alone boost morale.
The second part concentrates on profit, “A bozo has a negative impact on profit…”
Put simply a profit is a gain. Note how she adds to herself and their union. In verse 12, the scripture reads that “she brings good”. Verse 16 tells us that after “she considers a field and buys it, out of her earnings she plants a vineyard”. Again we see here the way earning equates to gain. Verse 18 says, “she sees that her trading is profitable” again this constitutes gain.
Yet, the bozo in your life will suck you dry and never replenish. Be weary of the men that will thwart your potential as opposed to nurture it.
So you see, a bozo is the ultimate antithesis to a proverbs 31 woman. The said bozo will never be the Ephesians 5:25 to your proverbs. He could never be the Joseph to your Mary. He could never be the Abraham to your Sarah.
Yet some of us cannot forgo the attraction. Their appeal is often linked to the fact that they are aesthically pleasing, smooth talking and well dressed. Then there’s the “I can change him” rhetoric that some of us are still cleaving to. It is common knowledge that only Jesus can save and radically alter someone’s temperament and yet there are proverbs 31 princesses out there trying to save a bozo. This will not work.
What is a proverbs 31 princess to do?
Keep Christ at the centre – Proverbs 31 looks like Christ. The challenge posed to us on a daily basis is how to look more like Christ. When that foundation is laid, waving your proverbs 31 banner becomes far more authentic and far less prescribed.
Flee – make every effort to flee from a bozo. I’m not completely convinced by the statements that suggests you are what you attract such as, “like attracts like” or “you’ll attract what you are ” because even crap men know the value of a good woman. They will run after you because they desire good things for themselves too but run away.
Turn to a nice guy and by “nice guy” I mean someone who is the complete opposite to a bozo. – I’m yet to divulge on where I think nice guys go wrong in their quest for love ( Thian article will be coming up very shortly) but nice guys (I actually hate the descriptor “nice” but for the purpose of this article, it will have to do) are better suited to take on the responsibilities laid down in Ephesians 5:25. Therefore, be on the look out for brothers who demonstrate potential in the areas that matter.
This article isn’t even about submission. I’m of the opinion that “submission” is a phenoman that is triggered with the exchange of rings that happens once a man and women have made that ever glorious covenant before God and witnesses, however I think it’s worth adding that submitting to an unworthy man isn’t biblical. Don’t dare give your all to the bozo in your life.
You really don’t have to kiss a few toads before you find a prince. You only need to take heed to good instruction and hold on to your Ephesians 5:25 King with confidence because he is rooting for you.
Love Cris x
p.s I think nice guys are underrated but that’s another topic for another article.