As expected, you clicked on the link because you saw love and Skype together and instantly thought “hmmm interesting word play” , or maybe other things came to mind but it’s irrelevant at this point, I’m just glad that you clicked on the link and read on. However, this article is not actually about Skype per say but about the phenomena that is online dating. There is no disputing the fact that we have been captivated by the internet, our living moments are captured on snapchat (I can admit that I am a snapchat addict) but I would take it a step further by adding that perhaps now our love lives are mingled so much with the internet that they are inseparable. For instance, we brag about our intimate relationships on social mediums. We show-off engagement rings and then insert love inspired hashtags underneath our lovey dovey pictures and subconsciously await the instagram likes and comments to validate the love. However, this article is not even about how we use social mediums to feed our egos ( that might be a subject for another day) but the popularity of “cyber love” and online dating.
The term online dating is self explanatory, it is the activity of dating online. I have never experienced online dating (although after this article I may do it as a social experiment) but if my research serves me well person A might upload a picture of themselves with a paragraph or two about their likes, their dislikes and then person B may stumble upon person A’s profile and engage in conversation with person A if interested and depending on the conversation A and B may wish to pursue the relationship further. Online dating cuts out the initial face to face interaction so instead of gazing into each other’s eyes we look into a screen and instead of intimate touches, we caress our keyboards. We cut out initial face to face interaction and thrive on the intimacy we connect online . This is a strange phenomenon.
I’ve threatened to place one of my girlfriends on a dating site and I’ve always supported the idea that my mother use a dating site to find love and of course she laughs hysterically at my nonsensical idea because “ people don’t find love online they only find temporary companionship.” A few years ago, before the strong hold of social media and the internet I might have agreed however, fast forward a few years and people are marrying people they find online. People are finding love on YouTube, twitter, Facebook, ChristianMingle, OkCupid, eHarmoney, Match.com et al and it is fast becoming another means (an acceptable means) of finding love.
I have always wondered how we got here, how we ended up neglecting that initial face to face connection for a lesser connection online. I worked my brain attempting to understand our online dating craze and unfortunately I was only able to devise a few conclusions:
1.We are too busy for face to face communication. The fact is as we get older we become busier and lead our lives on a schedule. We are consumed with achieving and so everything outside of our ambitions and goals generally fade into the background. We don’t even have time to sleep and so a potential rendezvous with another person is absurd. Or so we think. We are on the internet most of the time anyway and so it makes sense to find love there.
2.We are too lazy for face to face communication. Let’s be honest, meeting someone for a date requires effort. You have to shower (lol), wear the most delightful cologne or perfume, wear clothes, wear shoes, wear underwear, brush your teeth, choose a location, think about the bill and so on and so forth. Such efforts do not appeal to our microwave generation.
3.We are too shy for face to face communication. Face to face communication can be one of the most daunting experiences of all time. I’m secretly shy and so I abhor the idea of having to sit down and speak to someone and so a character like myself would thrive on online dating sites.
4.We are too awkward for face to face interaction. They consist of person A asking questions about person B and person B answering or providing a follow up and so on and so forth. Face to face interaction also comprises of awkward stares, awkward silences and there is a risk that the person you are meeting is just plain awkward . Online dating cuts out the awkwardness, you get a feel for the person by reading their profile and can make a more informed decision as to meeting that person.
5.We have exhausted our pool of potential partners who we used to enjoy face to face interaction with and so would like to explore other avenues before putting ourselves out there again. Some of us have had relationships with practically everyone we know and because our pool of potential candidates has been getting smaller and smaller we are after new experience with new people. The internet is the perfect medium to find new people.
How did we get here then? The answer is complex because people are complex. To pin down the ascension of online dating to just one factor would be wrong because people are dating online for a number of reasons. However, this does not mean that we allow face to face interaction to fade into the background.
Ok you may be too busy for face to face communication but sacrifice is a reflection of love. You find time or make time.
Ok face to face interaction may require far more effort but everything require effort.
Ok face to face communication may not work with your shy personality but put yourself out there.
Ok you may be too awkward for face to face communication but you will soon realise that everyone is awkward.
Ok may have exhausted your pool but keep looking.
Online dating is a fascinating phenomena and its ascension perfectly captures how times have changed. Remember when our parents used to find love for us (neither do I but I hear we used to do this) , remember when we used to find love by walking up to complete strangers and asking for their contact details, remember when we used to find love through mutual friends , now we find love online.
We are all one click away from finding “true love”. Let that sink in.
Love Cris x
P.S online dating sites appear to be a lucrative business. Who wants to partner up with me? Let’s make some money.
P.S.S what are your thoughts?
P.S.S anyone used an online dating site? I would love to hear your experiences.