Hello there. I’m so very glad you have all visited for another dose of The Promiscious Pen and although it’s been a while ( and yes a week is a while) I’m back in full force to bring you the discussions that have plagued my mind.
Since the ascension of Drake (who is my probably one of my favourite Hip Hop and RnB artists) I’ve grappled with the concept of the “feminisation of masculinity”. I certainly enjoy listening to him vocalise his emotions on every album and I have always commended his courage in being able to spill out his feelings on every track without reservation, however I can’t help but wonder whether Drake’s overt display of emotion is somehow a reflection of how much society has progressed; we’ve essentially moved on from telling men to stiffen their upper lips and not cry, to handing them a packet of Kleenex tissues when they do cry.
“The feminisation of masculinity” is a concept I have mulled over and have defined as a type of masculinity which embodies stereotypical female characteristics i.e crying, gossiping, being sensitive, wearing your heart on your sleeve and constantly seeking gratification (Please note, that I use the word stereotypical for a reason and so pretty please do not get upset and hate me for depicting women in this light). Drake’s ascension probably did not bring about this change but I found it rather significant that when this hip hop artist made a song about calling his girlfriend whilst he was drunk, to inform her that she had made the biggest mistake of her life by being with another man ( listen to Marvin’s Room), many men endorsed it. When this hip hop artist made a song about having trust issues (listen to Trust Issues), many men endorsed it. When this hip hop artist made a song about finding your love(listen to find your love), many men endorsed it. I could continue to list all his emotional songs but I wouldn’t want to intentionally bore you but there is something significant about the fact that many men endorsed these songs, bought these heart-wrenching albums and till this day sing the lyrics. Of course there were men who couldn’t fathom the idea of whining about their emotions in this way but there were men who related with Drake’s emotional’s episodes.
In the days of old it was something of a taboo to see men cry – “men don’t cry” was the coveted expression. The reality pre – millennium was that it was not proper for a man to show his feelings besides at funerals. Our fathers did not cry, did not whine or show a hint of emotion for it was perceived as weakness and even now they do not shed a tear. Ask yourself, when was the last time you heard your father cry? I can bet my bottom dollar that you will all ponder on this question and not have a definitive answer. Fast forward a few decades and we are witnessing the emergence of the emotionally intelligent man, the man who will always need your shoulder to cry on, the man who cares far too much, the man who is unafraid to bare it all, shed a few tears and call his girlfriend whilst drunk to tell her that “she can do better”(again listen to Marvin’s room).When researching this particular topic I actually found that Kleenex for Men commissioned the Social Issues Research Centre (SIRC) to investigate this matter further and their findings verify my feminisation of masculinity thesis. We have moved on from men not crying at all to men shedding tears in public. ( click the link for more on the study http://www.sirc.org/publik/crying_game.pdf). Dear reader, conventional masculinity is starting to look like femininity.
Maybe Drake didn’t start what I have termed the “feminisation of masculinity” but he somehow made it okay. He communicates his emotions on tracks and men have endorsed it. The feminisation of masculinity is upon us and maybe this isn’t a bad thing. Let them cry, let them let out all the feelings they have been bottling up for centuries. If it’s helpful, I say why not?
Love Cris x
P.S crying is ok; crying over spilt milk is not.
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