It’s rather funny that I am writing this post whilst listening to Beyonce’s Drunk in love and no before you ask I am not drunk, neither am I in love (hence the rationale behind this post) . The fact that Beyonce no longer makes songs for us single ladies is quite relevant here (that’s right ladies she has ditched us single girls and gotten herself a husband, I hope that did not sound bitter lol) however this isn’t the crux of this article.
The dreaded Valentines day, which I have renamed “mixed emotions” day, is fast approaching and it’s the period where couples feel justified in their public displays of affection and rather sadly the day when single people are probably more prone to suicide. So I want to take this opportunity to write my pen letter to the singles. Before I proceed let me discuss my reasons for renaming valentines day, although it may already quite obvious. Valentine day is as much about love as it is about hate. All the single and needy folk hate themselves for being single and needy, all the single and content folk are quite happy to spend it eating dinner and watching a movie on some dodgy site and all the couples prance around grinning from ear to ear. Now that I have established valentines day as mixed emotions day I want to direct your attention to something far more weighty, the idea that singleness is a curse.
Perhaps my article will be biased and maybe when I do fall in love, my view on this topic will change (though I doubt it) but as of now I am rather annoyed at the very absurd view that singleness is a curse. We are constantly fed the view that you must be less human if you are not loved up or married or at least in a relationship. Notice how people question your singleness but NEVER question your coupleness. They generally spew things like “oh why don’t you have a boyfriend?” or “why don’t you have a girlfriend?” , or they opt for the classic question “why are you single?” Why don’t they ever ask, “why are you in a relationship?”. Their constant badgering damages your psyche and leaves you feeling half human because you do not have a significant other. This is not the case. I want to take a moment to reverse this thinking and reflect on the things us single folk have going for us:
1) We can do what we want when we want.
Within a relationship your liberties are restricted not because you are not allowed to do certain things but because you must now think how your actions or activities would make your partner feel. For instance, if you wanted to spend months in Malaysia without your partner both of you would have to agree. Single people are free to live on impulse .
2) We can meet new people and not feel guilty.
I think meeting new people is often very tricky in relationships unless the new person is of the same-sex. However, when you are single you can rendezvous we as many people as you like and still sleep at night with your conscience intact.
3) Single people rock.
This last point is hugely bias, ignore it.
What I am ultimately saying is this: do not let the world make you feel small because you are single. Do not feel ashamed because you have no significant other to use your Orange Wednesday code with. However, if you do feel like drowning your sorrows on valentine’s day because you do not have a “baby” to call your own, just think of all the couples constantly arguing over petty things like toilets seats or cleaning up and then remember how lucky you are.
Bask in your singleness and enjoy every moment of it because it is a blessing. It is your passport to enjoying the wonders of life, a liberty that you may not always have when you become attached to another. However, to the readers waiting or looking for their perfect partner be encouraged, there is somebody for everybody.
Happy Valentines day all
Love Croe x
P.S I am not ashamed to say that Beyonce’s me, myself and I will be my valentine’s day soundtrack.